dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
