my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
