Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
