That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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