I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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