he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
