wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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