Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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