Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
