About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Randomize
