i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
