Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
