omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
