i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
