Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
