the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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