She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Holy sore nipples Batman
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
