***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
thus making me awesome and them whores
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Randomize
