He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
