Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
