well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
