she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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