I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
