I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
