quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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