So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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