Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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