dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize