Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
