It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
