Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The air was thick with penises
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
