that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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