I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
