Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I've blown a few things in my day
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Bring me that man meat
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
