Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
