i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
