She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
