im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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