Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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