I don't think brook has ever known best
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize