The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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