Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
