conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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