Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
