A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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