Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I've blown a few things in my day
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
