Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
