did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize