well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize