If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
