what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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