Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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