I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
