Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
