Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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