I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
