I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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