Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
