Say something about gay babies.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
