I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
