i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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