I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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