Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You are the jesus of drinking
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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