Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
