oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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