well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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