Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
