i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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