But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
