I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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