oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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