I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
