Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
