you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize