i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
