i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
