i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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