where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
