Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize