I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
